Just call me Anne, 27 years old, a public school teacher. I am happy living with my family until an unexpected incident happened. I was involved in a car accident! I attended a conference and on the way home, our service vehicle lost its brake.
My life is at risk! I’ll die anytime if I can’t find a blood donor.
Indeed, God was good… I found a blood donor and it gradually improves my situation.
Days passed and finally, the doctor allowed me to check out the hospital and continue my recovery at home.
After a month, I finally recovered my strengths. I go back in teaching. All of them were glad most specially my beloved students.
And I promised to myself that I will cherish this second life given by God.
Months passed and my life went back to normal like nothing happens.
One day, while eating my lunch in the school cafeteria, I lost my consciousness. They brought me to the school clinic and gave me temporary relief.
I ignored what happened and thought that it is just caused by an extreme fatigue. But as the day passes by, Mom noticed that I seemingly lost my appetite. And there was a gradual deterioration of my body.
She decided to convey me into the hospital. I don’t want her to worry so I granted her request. After 3 days, we got the result of my Laboratory test.
I am shocked... really shocked! And my Mom too!
I don’t even have a boyfriend… even once in my life! Then the Lab result tells me that I have an AIDS!? This is insane!
I am crying… I want to shout and tell the doctor that “this is not true! You were wrong with your test!
Mom hugged me tight and whisper “ shhh… don’t cry, we will seek for another doctor and ask for second opinion.” What Mom said gave me relief.
We found another doctor and he conducted my Lab test for the second time… and same result appeared! It was confirmed! I really have an AIDS!
I’m asking… “Where… where did I get this?! I am confused!
And this time, we discovered that the needle used in my blood transmission before was contaminated with AIDS virus.
I want to go to the hospital where I was confined before and crush the doctor into pieces! But it’s too late! My illness reach the stage three already.
I decided to resign from teaching. My colleagues were shocked. “Why?” they asked, I only said “I want to spend more time with my family.” I do not inform them about my situation, because I don’t want any people to have pity on me.
But I didn’t keep my illness a secret for so long… my annoying neighbors spread the rumors to our place as well as to the school I was teaching before.
Most of them showed their sympathy. But I know, even they don’t say any single word… there’s a doubt lurking in their eyes.
Wondering… compassion… disgusted!
I have friends who stayed at my side, providing encouragement, support and hope… And the others… well they go away, like we didn’t met before.
Because of this, one thing is for sure… they were thinking that I am a slut! Tsk… tsk… I, a teacher… who suppose to educate other people have a disgusting illness!? Oh my God!
After all, I can’t blame their narrow minds thinking that sex is the only cause of this disease! And they don’t even bother to know the other sources of it.
And who are them to judge? I do not want this! And no one will ever want it!
Days passed… and my treatment is continuing. The doctor gave me different pills… I just take it everyday but I don’t even bother to know what that is for.
I prefer to shut into my bedroom… and let the day passed. I do not want to go out because I know, they will just mock me.
Sometimes I want to end my life to stop my sufferings, but I didn’t do it because I still fear the Lord.
I don’t want to talk to other people, except for my parents, siblings, relatives and close friends.
I was weeping and ask the Lord sometimes… “Why… there’s a lot of sinful people out there… but why me?! I survived the accident… but another suffering came out! Is this a test for my worship to you?”
Sunday morning, Mom asks me to join her going to church. I turn.
After the mass, I stayed for a while and pray. I ask God to give me another chance to live.
Outside the church, I saw a man… he was born without his two legs. He was sitting on the side and selling flowers… I felt pity, so I bought flowers and gave him overpayment. He who has a disability still remains positive to himself and still working regardless of his condition…
He gives me another hope and strength. “If this man can live and work without his legs, what about me? My body parts are complete… I’m just sick… but if I’m going to fight for it, I have a chance to be cured!”
I will ignore those people mocking me… what is important are those people who always there at my side, giving me love, care and support until I was healed.”
BY JOANA GRIZELLE L. BAULA.
AMDIN OF KARUNA.
